I haven’t been very good at keeping up with this (limited energy, sickness, blah, blah); but things are going well

Swimming ~ she’s doing fabulously! Has been put up to Level 2 & has her 5 meter swimming thing-y. She can swim at least 10 meters backstroke without a float & is getting there on her front. Is generally very confident in the water, as with most things she’s at the front of the line & the first to volunteer to try things.

Dancing ~ again she’s doing really well; she’s auditioning for another role on the 29th of April, tbh I was hoping that she wouldn’t be selected for this one, it is such a lot of work for me. She’s moving to the next level in ballet & tap after Easter & is also continuing with the acrobatic dance (she’s desperate to have a go at gymnastics (been watching the Commonwealth games) but can’t start until she’s 6).

ERAPA ~ definitely a favourite, & I like it too, 4 hours of uninterrupted playtime & socialising for £3! She love the soft play there but spends most of her time outside (in the cold!), running around like a maniac & playing games like Narnia & London Bombing! She’s made friends with a few of the older children which is nice to see.

Warehouse ~ she continues to enjoy, she doesn’t like rugby anymore apparently but likes the other games. Glyn is excellent with all of them, I may book her in to do a football skills week with him in May half term.

Jelly Legs ~ she enjoys even more now that Ernest & Buttercup come - I am the mean nagging mother that makes her finish a project before she starts the next one! She’s doing lots of drawing & painting again.

Ice skating ~ unfortunately her teacher has been away for a couple of weeks & so she’s missed some lessons. I has knocked her confidence slightly, but I’m sure she’ll persist and perfect her jumps (!!!!!).

Girls’ Brigade ~ she has her uniform! Which she loves, what is it with HE kids & uniforms? As well as doing loads of crafts & games she’s learnt some very odd songs (Jesus is wicked!), she absolutely loves it.

Other stuff ~ been spending loads of time with my mum & Lily, Dom Natalie’s kids & with Violet et al, we very rarely have much time at home during the week, so I’m looking forward to everything claming down a bit for the Easter break. She’s nearly finished Shrek 2 on the Xbox! Has been doing loads of writing (I have a feeling this will be how she learns to read) & is very interested in science stuff (she wants me to do with her what I do when I tutor). On Thursday afternoon she did about 20 pages of a CGP KS1 science workbook - totally basic but she knew all of it already & did the vast majority of the writing. She’s pretty independent now - can get dresses, make her bed, get breakfast & drinks, almost cracked wiping bottom, does little jobs for me (feeding the cats etc). She seems very grown up

I’ve fallen in love & that makes it so much worse. To lose a pregnancy before the scans is sad, it’s a loss of the future that wanted; losing it after you’ve seen that tiny little being, all the hope that comes with the flashing pixels of a heartbeat is really hard. I feel like saying another later loss like Estella or the 13 week one would kill me, but of course it won’t, I’ll manage, we all will. But it will bring us to the point of seriously thinking about calling it quits. I don’t want to be there again, but more than that I love this little fetus/baby and I really want it to make it.

So here is Number Seven:

At 6 weeks 6 days ~ meauring perfectly, single interuterine pregnancy. Gestation & yolk sacs where beautiful and round, no dilation of the yolk sac, best bit - heartbeat was visible even with a TA scan, the dildocam gave this beautiful picture:

I have some tiny clots, one is bigger & may be a collapsed second sac the others are probably from the heparin, the doctor swore to me that every patient she has on heparin as them & they are not related to the developing placenta which looks fine so far.

And at 9 weeks - the picture is shite, but the growth was perfect, baby is now a couple of days ahead (sac is 3 days ahead, yolk sac is absorbed) the placenta looks great, no areas of bleeding at all. Heart rate was 178. I love the FMC, they have been fab.

The FBCs have been fine, platelets are behaving & I’m continue with the meds - progesterone, prednisolone, clexane, aspirin & metformin - until next scan then reasses. I have a NHS appointment with my mc consultant then the next scan (won’t be until 12 weeks (arrgghhh) unless I have bleeding (arrggghhhh)) and then Mr T again, I’m not thinking about booking yet. I’m almost too scared to breath & keep begging that little heart to keep going.