Feeling permanently shite, having zero enthusiasm and being in a foul mood isn’t helping the cause much. I had a bleeding (very small) episode on Sunday, I thought my heart was going to stop beating. Have had anti-d, baby is fine measuring ahead again, femurs are long (tall like Daddy?), they can’t see where the bleeding is coming from (probably cervical - don’t they always say that?) there hasn’t been anymore. Just served to remind us, if we had forgotten for a moment, to be more terrified than ever.

Isn’t it a crappy picture? Oh how I wish we could afford the FMC everytime. Simon came with me this time, it was lovely to see how much the baby has grown and how active it is. I’ve been feeling movement for a couple of weeks now but that and hearing the wonderful galloping heartbeat everyday (yup) just remind us how much we have to lose. I’m still pretty sick (nowhere near as bad as with C - that & the HR make me think boy, it has been worse since I’ve been off the steroids but at least I’m not so fucking hungry all the time) but my BP is behaving so far. Never happy am I? I hate pregnancy.

Oh and anomoly scan is booked for exactly 20 weeks (at the FMC of course) I want it done before we go camping because they are going to check the placental blood flow and my cervix … the date? 6-6-06 hmmmm.

We’ve been pretty busy though - the usual work bookey things (handwriting, phonics, spelling), C repeated the expert level on B&P maths (in one sitting, with no input from me including The Really Hard Super Game which I thought was pretty good going!), we’ve been doing lots of word puzzles (cross words, word searches etc) mainly from her Scooby Doo magazines & playing Hangman, reading about Jesus (Usborne New Testament for kids) and the usual activities.

So its okay, I should be more organised but it is just impossible atm.

I’ve moved her into another swimming group - one without a bunch of idiotic 6 year old boys & where the teacher uses her whistle & snarls at the kids if they mess around. Ballet was traumatic, C is in the small parents only show not the big one like last time - she’s okay about it, but I’m slightly annoyed with her teacher (the lessons cost a fortune - we’ve just paid for the new term and it was well over £100) she really wasn’t well prepared. I’ve spent some time going over it with her & she’s already a 100% more confident.

Oh well, I’m indulging in wine, chocolate & paracetamol tonight.