Yesterday ended up being a bit better. We did some (more) cooking (Nigella’s 10,000 calorie/slice peanut/chocolate shortbread, just what I need), C did loads of Brainpop (computer viruses, food poisoning, how eyes work, HIV, hepatitis etc) & a bit of Studydog. She read Dr Seuss’ ‘Hop on Pop’ which is fairly simple, but is a PROPER book . I made a half hearted attempt at Montessori style units (tens/hundreds etc), and read some poems about cats.

Simon took her to the park for a couple of hours after work, they fed the ducks, flew the kite & C met a little girl & they played tennis. I have accepted I’m completely incapable of functioning in the heat & am just keeping a low profile with my knitting.

We had a pretty amazing thunder storm (incredible fork lightening) but NO rain. Very odd.

I’m prevaricating here - I have an essay on NHS management to proof read & I’m not finding the motivation to do it.

Well its hot, far too hot for me to be any thing more than a fairly rubbish mum (oh & wife & friend). All I want to do is sleep, I am in desperate need of a break but know that if I send Claudia off anywhere she’ll be even more exhausting when she gets back.

We’ve been doing loads of cooking (in our kitchen!!!!! I’ll try and get some photos this weekend) - baking & proper food, C is still eating fairly well although every meal starts with ‘this is disgusting [gag]’. She isn’t sleeping & is incredibly touchy.

We went swimming yesterday afternoon (must go to the morning session in future, it was very busy) - C had a great time (apart from when she told me that I didn’t like her anymore & always shout at her) & can now swim under water! She wanted to go in the driving pool as well, next time she can. I was grumpy & horrible - I hate the noise & the crowds. There was hair in the pool which is a particular neurosis of mine & I spent the whole time feeling sick & skin crawly. Then I shouted at C because she needed the loo - they are totally foul. Simon can take her in future.

We haven’t been reading as much as I’d like to [excuse I have a permanent headache], only a couple of picture books a day - I haven’t been organised enough to get to the library [too hot to walk, don’t want to drive, library fine, too many people].

C’s been ‘doing science’ this week though - lots of Brainpop which she loves, making body models with flaps & her CGP books. Also lots of maths & writing, she hasn’t wanted to do any reading for a few days.

So its all pretty blah really. I hate, hate, hate being pregnant, I feel awful. This time I’m a 1000 times less ill than I was with C but it still completely sucks. I’m 27 weeks measuring 34, huge, hot, uncomfortable, anaemic & permanently terrified. 12 weeks to go. And injections, I’ve had a year now of daily injctions, I’m running out of places to stab myself.

I told Claudia about the baby, a box of clothes I’d ordered arrived & I asked her to unpack it for me; delighted doesn’t cover it. God I hope we don’t let her down.

Learning to skip (with a skipping rope).
Reading more Bob Books.
Baking fairy cakes pretty independently (following the recipe).
Eating brilliantly - e.g. curly kale, cheese & onion pie, butternut squash pasta sauce - getting more than 5 a day
Drawing - scenes from HP4.
Writing e.g. ‘I am Voldmort’.
More Paris colouring book.
Playing lots of clock patience by herself.
A reasonable effort at tidying without loads of nagging.
Looking after the cats (food, water, letting them in and out) without prompting.

We had an exhausting weekend - all morning at ballet on Saturday (C did well in her latest medal test & they are gearing up for the next one already, I am seriously not impressed by it. The test isn’t until November but they are putting all the selection days before the summer so they can extract more £££ for private lessons over the break) OMG some (most?) of the parents there are fucking annoying (the only good thing about them is that they make me feel very young!) then we drove to Bristol Ikea to by cupboards for the kitchen. Saturday night & Sunday were spent building them & unpacking; C was not in a good mood.

Yesterday therefore was pretty cruddy - C didn’t wake up until nearly 10, watched Harry Potter *3* times & that’s about it (she did a little bit of reading & some writing before swimming). Swimming was cool though - she went up a level & Simon got to watch her swim which he hasn’t been able to before.

It has been far too hot to do much & we’ve been on go slow since Kessingland (no blogs in June). Camping was mostly good, Simon felt the baby move for the first time but despite the good scan (more later) I was really scared, I made hime drive up to stay with us. What a palaver - drugs, needles, sharps boxes, doppler, notes, pee sticks - it was very, very weird having people know as well.

I had a resurgence of sickness and general crapiness, Claudie hasn’t been sleeping well because of the heat so we’ve just been chillin’ .

This week - Monday was awful, C had a good swimming lesson but apart from that we did very little. On Tuesday we decamped to Alison’s & her pool which was just about perfect. Today & Wednesday have been better (cooler) - we went swimming this morning (10am *shock*) it was heavenly to be cool (although maternity swimsuits - maternity clothes in general - why is everything so low cut? I felt barely decent flashing my rather gargantuan tits at all & sundry); C did brilliantly swimming pretty much constantly for an hour. Her back stroke is beautiful & she’s really improving on her front (still some reluctance to put her face in the water), she’s pretty fearless which is cool

Work (ha! What’s that!) C has been doing subtraction from the Usborne age 5-6 sticker books; she likes to have a number line (and hates manipulative - rods are for building houses only) and is pretty independent with it which works well for us both. She, completely unprompted, brought me the A2 Bob books up to number 7 and read them! I was absolutely amazed, we haven’t done any formal reading for about 5 weeks, the best thing was the look of pride on her face We’ve been reading loads aloud - Usborne Beginners, How Things Work, Everyday Things, Maple Hill Farm books & an assortment of picture books. My parents recently went to Paris & brought C a lovely colouring book of Parisian landmarks, she’s enjoying that.

Other stuff - lots of geomag & lego play, loads of drawing & writing & some cooking (we’ve had a breakthrough on the eating front - at last!).

Oh & the kitchen is finally getting done we have a beautiful slate floor with underfloor heating & the cupboards etc will be going in over the next couple of weeks (it is fantastic!) and we bought some really cool shoes!

Oh I almost forgot - at the swimming pool this morning there were a couple of Reading’s finest - hugely obese, cheaply tattooed in tiny swimsuits - one kept referring to her infant son as her ’sexy boy’ (I will never understand the desire some parents have to classify their children as sexy) and the other encouraged her 3yo to thrust his pelvis in the face of little girl (hilarious & btw I Blame The Patriarchy) then pull his trunks down & pee on the side of the pool. Lovely.

We haven’t told Claudia about the baby yet, I just haven’t been able to face it. I can’t bear more conversations about dead babies, and what can I say? You’re going to have a brother or sister (!!???) when I don’t actually know that she will. I thought I’d feel much safer after the big scan but I don’t really .. maybe one day soon?

The Big Scan was HELL - we waited for over an hour (which is what I expect at the FMC & fine), the scan took over an hour & I couldn’t bear to look at the screen. I was absolutley terrified, to get this far then have bad news would be just too much. I lay there with my eyes closed trying not to cry & gripping Simon’s hand.

The news was great though Baby was perfect - we had some great pictures of its mouth & lips (increased risk of CP), measurements were good, placental looks great (posterior, no clots, no spiralling, blood flow was perfect), cervix normal (on the short end of normal but still normal). They’ve said my risk of premature labour is low

We went out to Valerie’s afterwards (I had fries and lentil soup ) and rang everyone to tell them we had a perfectly healthy SON

(Simon’s parents didn’t even know I was pregnant!)