Debbie Bliss Raglan Sweater, Umbilical Cord Hat from Stitch ‘n’ Bitch & Erika Knight’s Classic Cashmere Booties; all in lovely soft cotton. I love knitting for babies.

Had a really difficult week last week - there’s no real point going over it. I’m angry & sad & was really hurt by being made to feel even more isolated. I feel freakish enough without being banished from polite society.

It was our 10th anniversary on Friday & we went out for dinner - together … alone The Silver Star Unit have agreed to take me (which is a whole ‘nother issue that I won’t go into) I’m seeing the GP on Friday to formalise the referral. We’ve done masses of work on the house in the last couple of weekends, which is good. All caffeine fuelled.

eta: ‘cos it was the point of the post, before I forgot - this is an excellent resource. You know things aren’t quite how they should be when your daughter is pleased that she found the perfect box to be her baby’s coffin.

I knitted a hat!

Couvercle from knitty - even involved a little bit of crochet - left out the brim though. In Rowan All Seasons Cotton.

What I’m finding hard is that we made plans - it seemed like the sensible thing to do once we got past 14 weeks. We thought about the car & bedrooms & paternity leave. I let myself think about Next Year … Claudia’s birthday, Christmas, holidays, next time at Newgale, next May etc. Now it all feels a bit hollow. I can’t imagine getting the car because there’d be a gap, it would never be right.

I think I was lulled by Jasper, I wasn’t vigilant enough.

Still, I’m practising serenity - children are great, Simon & I are strong, great friends, wonderful family. But there’s the Toby sized gap & not knowing What Next.

Another BSJ, in Rowan Wool Cotton & cute dinosaur buttons.

Block Rickenbacker
Block Turbulent Indigo
Finish/buttons for BSJ #2
Juno Regina - got clawed by the cat, need to redo 4 imches

From Knitty … I knitted one last year in KnitPicks Merino, this one is in DB Pure Cotton. I hate knitting with cotton, it hurts my hands & is really unforgiving of errors, the Pure Cotton is an exception though. It’s slubby & soft & cosy when knitted (unfortunately it breaks easily when you unwind each ply - you have to be careful when sewing up).

Anyway, this is a great quick knit - though it has taken me weeks to get around to finishing it. I love the colour on Jasper

Back to the rest of the UFOs!

Here’s one I dyed earlier!

Elizabeth Zimmermann’s Baby Surprise Jacket. Everyone should knit one it is so cool! Knitted in one peice and then folded to make a jacket, clever!

(and I know I said I wouldn’t cast on anything else but the Juno Regina is so boring )

Claudia did this one! Blastin’ Berry Cherry & Ice Blue Raspberry

Koolhaas, by the brilliant Brooklyntweed. It is a fiendish pattern, so bloody fiddly with all the tiny cables and as I knitted it was cursed many times. As soon as a put the needles down though I remembered why I love it & am knitting J one in DK, even more fiddly Si’s is in Cascade 220.

Jasper’s coat of many colours! Another Tomten in Noro Silver Thaw (5) with a cashmerino hood lining. This time I used buttons with crochet loops rather than a zip (easier for me to get on, harder for J to take off). I’m really pleased with the hood lining, EZ says to knit it separately then sew it in - I picked up & knitted it in situ, so no seams! As with the other one it has a few short rows across the back so it fits over a nappied bum nicely

Before casting anything else on I must finish:

Simon’s Koolhaas - need to get a set of 5mm dpns.
Jasper’s Tomten - need one more ball of Silver Thaw
My Juno Regina - need to overdye dark purple.

I can finish all of them before my birthday - then I’m knitting a Pi shawl and will finish Entangled.